Surgery Day

Today is the day I have been looking forward to.  It's 2:30 AM and I cannot sleep anymore.  I am a bit surprised that I slept as much as I did, but that's thanks to my medicine to help with my insomina issues.  I have to be at the hospital at 4:30 AM for admission.  I am scheduled for a 24 hour stay.

Yesterday, I went to the plastic surgeon so she could do her marking for the reconstruction she's going to do and I was injected with the radioactive material so the surgeon can monitor my lymph nodes to make sure there is no cancer there. 

Someone asked me if I'm ok..... I told them I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs and tried to laugh about it.  As I've said before, I am not a patient patient.

My co-workers made me cry at lunch yesterday with a card and presents.  I usually am a little more composed, but this was an exception to the rules.  Thanks to all, you really made my day and yes I'll call when I can.

This whole experience has been surreal.  The time of diagnosis on 10-26-10 to now has been a blur.  Doctor visits, the possibility of external beam radiation and oral vs. intravenous chemotherapy, lumpectomy that had to be cancelled in light of finding more disease, and now, double mastectomy has taken a toll on my emotions.  I haven't looked at myself since having the marking done.  I just cannot make myself do it. 

There has been one more bright ray of light since all this has begun.  My mom's oldest sister who has fought and won (so far) her fight with breast cancer, made a couple of heart shaped pillows and took them to my surgeon's office for her to give to me with a note to let me know she's thinking of me and wanted to do something to help.  Wow.  She hasn't spoken to anyone in the family in a while, but she actually reached out to me.  Something good is happening here. 

I'll let everyone know what's going on in a few days.  Please keep me and my family in your prayers. 

Denys